SindyinDPRK

Well, the sore throat that had been hanging around me now took hold overnight, and I woke feeling rubbish. Very tired, and a very sore throat, and very dizzy. Luckily I had packed some Merocaine, so had some of that after the usual breakfast.

On to the bus at 8am and off to Mansudae Hill aka the big bronze statues. It was originally just KIS until KJI kicked the bucket, when they shoved KIS along and added the big butch-bronze-lesbian next to him.

The day started with a quick stop at the nearby water gardens where we were “encouraged” to buy flowers to gift to the statues from a lady who conveniently was standing there selling them. Euro5 each, and our bouquet was very dead.

The water gardens were pretty but completely empty of course apart from a cleaner, and then a line of school children walking through.

Considering this was right next to the scene of the mass dancing the previous night, everything was spotless. If this was London, there would still have been armies of cleaners out clearing away the mess. This made me realise that considering that most men in DPRK smoke, I never saw a cigarette butt on the floor, not once! There was also the usual inspirational mosaic mural to the side.

We were herded back on the bus rather than let us walk the 100m up to the statues.

Once there, we did our now familiar line up into 3 rows, and then the people with flowers took them up and tucked them behind an elastic rope, then back into the rows, “sunglasses OFF!” and … 3-2-1 BOW!

We were told some history, then led past the huge reliefs of ‘Statues of the Newly Freed Proletariat due to Kim Il Sung.’ They represent, we were told ‘the military and civilians of North Korea striving together to overcome their enemies to create a perfect state.’

As usual the difference between the tall and healthy statues (and murals) vs the actual locals who are small and kind of wiry was very marked. We did not see one fat North Korean person (apart from the photos of KJU of course).
Our Bulgarian tour member as usual tried to join a number of other groups rather than ours (he was very weird) and then we were led back down the hill, on to the bus and off to ride on the metro (for no real reason apart from that is what they do with tour groups). The station entrances themselves are pretty unprepossessing:

We headed down the very steep, long escalators - the tunnels apparently are so deep that they can double as nuclear shelters.

The metro itself is not an extensive network:

And we were starting at one terminus, going one station, getting off, then getting on the next train, going two stations, and then getting off permanently. Needless to say, they made sure we alighted at the stations with large murals and decorations, rather than the plain ones with just grubby subway tiles. All in all the carriages were archaic, but the ride was fine, and is apparently cheap for the locals.

Station 1: quite fascist style murals - grey and workmanlike

Station 2: pretty spring flowers and KIS in a verdant setting

also distinguished by particularly grumpy platform attendant:

The most interesting part of this station was we were given time to peruse the newspapers that they have on display. You don't need to be able to read Korean to understand that KJU dominates the news...

Last station: much more glowy gold with hope for the future and a big golden KIS:

And as we exited there was a toy store of sorts - this was the closest we came to a locals store in the entire trip:

We exited near the big mosaic of KIS giving his one and only speech to the population:

and also near the aptly named Arch of Triumph:

It seems that when they came to commemorate KIS's 70th birthday they ran out of inspiration and copied the Arc de Triomphe, but made it 10 metres higher (of course). Fascinatingly (!) it also was built with just over 25500 blocks of dressed sandstone – one for each day of his 70 years. We got used to this sort of weird number fixation after a while.

After standing around for a while, and taking photos standing in the middle of the three lane road in front of the arch (try that on the Champs Elysee!), we were back on the bus, and off to Nampo and the West Sea Barrage.
Another long drive, with various people snoozing at various times (yes, I mean SS!). The countryside was again different, and the people meandering around were doing different things.

As it was Sunday and their one notional day off a week, the kids in particular were heading for the river:

I did enjoy seeing young unaccompanied children doing their thing - reminded me of my childhood.
Nampho was nowhere near as smooth and manicured as Pyongyang.

It was surrounded by salt flats and other agriculture. We drove through it and then on to the edge of the barrage itself – through a checkpoint (“NO PHOTOS!!”), and then along the 8km length.
We could see people fishing in small boats.

and other boats in the heat haze:

The barrage was built to close off the Taedong River from the West Sea to allow for agriculture to come further down the river (less brackish water) and also to harness hydro-electric power and prevent flooding. It also provided a much quicker way to traverse the river at that point rather than going 80km upstream. The day unfortunately was very smoggy/hazy so we couldn’t see very far, but certainly it was a very long causeway really that linked at a little island to a dam and 3 lock system. WE could see a large ship waiting to go through the lock however.

First we went into the visitors centre, surmounted by a large phallic structure we were told was an anchor,

and got left in a room to watch a very triumphant presentation of how the barrage was built in the mid-80s. The room was full of pouffy armchairs facing a computer monitor used as a TV screen.

Like all DPRK projects it was pretty much all military built with “soldiers giving their full support and time and dedicating their lives” to the triumphant construction. In other words there were a lot of deaths. I took a small video of some of the video:

KIS delegated the job to KJI who puffed up his pompadour hair and slipped on his best Dame Edna sunglasses and waddled down to spread his wisdom. There were many snippets of where the best engineers and builders in the country were stumped, but KJI would come down, point at a few things, look at some diagrams and basically solve all the problems with a wave of his stubby fingers. I guess he put one of his honourary engineering degrees to good use?

We were then marched out and up to the terrace above the screening room to have a view, and be told some exciting figures about the construction. Unfortunately the weather was now scorching hot, and still very humid, so whilst the guides had their umbrellas up the rest of us were frazzling and sweating up a storm. Made it hard to concentrate on how many KW the dam generates.

The view was not great to be honest, as it was still very hazy.
As we were released to walk around we could hear laughter coming from a manmade beach in the distance with the rich and powerful flopping around on lilos and playing in the water. Buses were pulled up alongside, which obviously had brought them there for the day.

Behind the building was another strange area obviously under construction to turn it into some sort of Children’s Brer Rabbit garden.

Back down to the bus, and back along the barrage to Nampo and lunch. This was one of the weirder locations we went to.

A room like an old aircraft barracks and decorated inside in the usual way with fake flowers, tired bunting, and plastic covers on the tables.

Along one side were numbered doors that looked like nothing so much as “special rooms” in a massage parlour. And of course there was a cat wandering around, looking skittish when anyone approached.

Food was odd – a definite seafood flavour to it. We started with salady stuff then baked clams, a whole squid (which the waitress cut up with kitchen scissors), deep fried tofu and fried rice – thank goodness.

SS and I relied heavily on the tofu, rice and chilli sauce with local wasabi. I normally like seafood but this was bland and rubbery, and probably lived and was cooked in water that you are not supposed to drink (bottled water only in DPRK even for brushing teeth!).
Back on the bus (Lourens had snaffled an unopened but paid for bottle of beer – he was so excited!). Next stop was the co-op farm. I had high hopes for this to understand more of how the country produces food, but again we were hijacked. This time by a woman in full traditional dress but slightly racy platform shoes under it.

We were encouraged to buy flowers again (no-one did), and then marched around a corner to a big bronze statue of KIS. We were so used to the routine now we almost got into lines by ourselves ready to bow. After bowing, we got told how many times KIS had been there, and when, and where he sat (this time on a mat in a field since he is a “man of the people”, “nothing special” etc etc). This was depicted of course on a hugely valuable mosaic showing his humility and modesty ;) .

But the surprising part was that there was a large wall covered in words of wisdom from KIS, KJI and SURPRISE SURPRISE, Mrs KIS!! Let’s say the little photo of her next to her words of wisdom looks a lot more masculine that KJI ever did.

We now understood where KJU got his looks from. Seeing Ma Kim made our Greek lady tour member go mental. Quite amusing. She took Mr Kang to task for why there were no pictures of Mrs Kim generally, why women weren’t properly represented etc etc. Mr Kang humoured her for a minute then told her to “calm down”. Very funny. DPRK is not exactly about equality of the sexes.
The tour continued down through the housing area of the farm.

SS meanwhile had got talking to the German mother. She was a lovely lady, there with her husband and the two teenage boys (both of whom were strapping young examples of Aryan youth, well over 6 feet tall and brush cut haircuts). She was from West Berlin and her husband from East Berlin. She had a lot of very interesting insight into life before the wall came down, and then after. She and her husband had brought their sons to DPRK to give them some idea of what life was like for their father growing up in East Berlin. So in listening to her we missed all the gumpf about the farm, but I think it was a good trade. It had started to rain a little, and so we got back on to the bus.
This now became the longest, toughest drive yet. Poor Mr Pak was forced to negotiate a three lane highway which had had the surface removed by what looked like bombs.

I presume it was going to be resurfaced but instead, like in all other countries, dividing the 3 lanes going the other way into both directions to allow cars to use a serviceable road, we were instead forced to limp along a road that was in such bad condition that it was like driving across a battlefield. We saw one other car that was also struggling, and one broken down bus.

The roads were completely empty as normal, but seeing the smooth unused lanes the other way, and us bumping along was so stupid! I was envious of the few people on bikes along the sides on a smoothish footpath.

We were slightly entertained by Ben asking us to provide our tips for Mr Li (and separately for the other guides), as he was finishing up on Monday (as we left). Quite amusing – we were one of the first to “tip” in the envelopes (it was anonymous thank goodness), but I could see by the end that Mr Li’s envelope was stuffed full of small yuan notes, and the other guides was stuffed with euros. Mr Li clearly was the son of some very senior official as he could not have the job by talent. He was truly terrible, uninterested, inappropriate and inept.
Eventually we got to the outskirts of Pyongyang and back on to a more normal road surface. No roads in DPRK are great, but that had truly been an experience. This meant we were late back into town, so the promised trip up the Juche Tower never happened (not that anyone ever admitted this of course). The guides were great at time filling and pretending every lame idea they came up with was planned.
Next we were forced up a hill, and numerous stairs for about 20 minutes or so, into a park where we were supposed to watch locals eat picnics, and then designated people would make us dance with them. But due to the delayed trip back along the pockmarked highway, there was no one left in the park apart from 20 hot, sweaty, bored tour members and their two guides. The refreshment seller however was still there waiting for us, so the rest of the guys loaded up on icecreams, waters, fizzy drinks, chocolate, etc etc. SS and I just sat. I was annoyed. I didn’t feel well and being frogmarched up a hill for no view, and then left to amuse yourself for 30 minutes with nothing to do was just stoooooopid. The only upside was a hazy view of the bronze statues we had seen that morning.

Anyway, after killing time there we were taken off to the Liberation War Museum. We weren’t allowed to take bags with us, just cameras. Every place had its own silly rules.

First stop was walking past captured armaments, tanks, remains of planes and helicopters.

Quite interesting, particularly the MASH helicopter.

Again the descriptions were all of the “US aggressors” rather than mentioning any other UN members or South Korea!
Next we were on to the USS Pueblo which is moored on the river next to the museum.

Our guide had a very difficult accent to understand – most of our group gave up quickly, a strange cadence and pacing which made her very tough to follow.
The story by DPRK is that the ship was apprehended in DPRK territorial waters (the US claims it was outside). Outnumbered and outgunned the American captain prevaricated while his crew shredded confidential documents. Eventually the North Koreans opened fire killing one crewman and so they surrendered. Helpfully some DPRK person used a red magic marker to show the bullet holes remaining in one of the doors.

After 11 months of negotiation the captain signed a humiliating letter admitting spying and undertaking not to do it again and the crew was released. Apparently as soon as the US had their sailors back the US repudiated the document as it was signed under duress. I can imagine that was true – a lot of what we did in the DPRK at the hands of our guides was under duress (not that I was still stinging with annoyance about the stoooopid march up the hill in the park). Apparently there was a section in the letter saying it had been signed ‘as a receipt for 81 servicemen and one dead body’ but this was blanked out. The surprising part about that was that the boat did not seem that big to me – no idea where the 82 people could have fitted! In any case, there was no doubt that it was a spy boat, so there are always risks attached to such adventures.

Next we walked up to the main building. On the way we did get good view of the empty rocket ship hotel.

The main museum was as grand as the Kumsusan Palace – loads of marble and gold and bronze. There was another lovely statue of KIS as we entered but no photos are allowed inside the museum, so he went unrecorded.

First up was a video explaining to us “How the US aggressors caused the war”. This was a brilliant video, short on facts but long on rhetoric. In 1945 when the Japanese had been kicked out of Korea and the peninsula was divided along the 38th parallel, the Americans were tasked with occupying the south and the Soviet Union the north. Each put puppet locals in charge (although KIS was described as the great hero, with little mention of the Russians), which in the case of the Soviets meant KIS. In 1948 KIS declared the DPRK.

The video now continued as follows (the DPRK guide story is in italics): In their quest for world domination, the Americans looked at the Korean peninsula and saw a “knife they could thrust into the heart of Asia”. Just for the hell of it I guess, made no sense to me. Surely there were better avenues to march into Asia?
At 4am on the 25th of June 1950 the Americans launched a vicious and unprovoked attack across the 38th parallel. They ignored the provocations by both sides and that KIS had already been playing fast and loose with the border. Within 90 minutes the brave and valiant KIS called his forces and declared war against the American aggressors. Although DPRK troops were only deployed for defence, they counter-attacked, liberated Seoul and continued their advance until by August they had liberated 92% of the peninsula, and 90% of the population. It wasn’t clear how a force ‘deployed only for defence’ ended up occupying most of the peninsula, but hey ho.
The Americans called in their friends in the UN, including the British and the Turks. They landed on the west coast and reinforced their southern enclave. The only reason the UN managed to get the vote through for action, was because the USSR was boycotting the Security Council at that point, so didn’t veto. So the UN forces now came in in force. It is true that about 90% of the UN forces were provided by the US, but there were also British etc. And the UN forces were only a third of the total force – the rest of course were South Korean. Needless to say the video ignored all of that. It does not make sense to tell the DPRK population that everyone is envious of DPRK and wants to live there, when you have to also concede that South Koreans fought for the right NOT to live in the DPRK.
The UN pushback was successful and rapidly most of North Korea was in UN hands by November 1950.
The Americans then invaded the north but after a struggle heroically led by Kim Il Sung, the DPRK was liberated. At this point the Chinese also became involved and by January 1951 the counter-invasion was indeed repulsed and the war became bogged down in trench warfare on and around the 38th parallel until the armistice in July 1953.
A crushing defeat was inflicted on the Americans. The DPRK was the first country ever to defeat the US in war. Actually the war halted with a few minor territory gains and losses either side of the 38th parallel. So despite half a million soldiers and 2.5 million civilians dead, KIS really gained nothing apart from about 100 yards beyond the 38th parallel.
In our shellshocked state we were next marched through various map rooms showing the successful advances of the DPRK forces – focusing on everything to December 1950 but stopping after that of course. Instead we next had re-creations of jungle scenes and winter scenes in the war. We suddenly emerged in 1953 to show where they had “won” but somehow agreed to give South Korea back???
Next, we were taken up about 4 storeys of steps to emerge into a giant lifesize 360degree diorama – the first 5 metres or so was physical models and statues etc, and then it merged seamlessly into a detailed painting which went out about 30miles. Amazing really. There was all sorts of pyrotechnics and moving technology, but as apparently we were now running behind time, our guides gave the museum guide the headshake so she explained the model was “not working” so we had to leave. This was slightly spoiled by the next tour group arriving and settling in, and we could hear the effects as we walked back down the stairs.
Strangely, we were now given 20 minutes sitting by the counter where they sold books, so perhaps we weren’t in such a rush after all?? I did not even look as I had left my money in the bus. I kicked myself on the way out as Nick had bought the book of “How the US Imperialists started the Korean War”. It was brilliant. (Luckily Justin found it in the hotel bookshop and bought it for me, so I do now have my own copy – wheeeeee!).
The next treat was off to the duck restaurant. I hate duck. When we arrived and sat the table had a plate of nasty raw duck strips in front of each place, and side dishes of cucumber done various ways.

That was it. And the local Soju. Which was very nice actually – this one was very like sake. Anyone who knows me knows I hate snozzcumber and duck. So basically there was nothing on the table I wanted to eat. I busied myself cooking the food for everyone else on the central hot gas grill, and waiting for the rice (which thank goodness did arrive at the end as usual, along with soup). I was quite tiddly after the alcohol so that was fine! We now were asked to vote on whether we went to the cocktail bar, or back to the hotel. In the end, the guides agreed to divide us, with 14 people heading back to the hotel, and 8 of us hard core drinkers off to the cocktail bar. I guess this flexibility showed that they liked us.
Again, the bar was in a faceless building, up some stairs, and around a corner through a coffee shop to arrive in somewhere which looked just like a bar in Mayfair.

The waitresses were dressed in outfits like something out of 1950’s PanAm, and the ordering could be done by iPad.

Surreal. I use that work as Robert informed us with some confidence that the word “surreal” does not exist in the Oxford dictionary. Hmmm. I didn’t debate him on that one, but I am not sure what he was mixing it up with. Robert was usually pretty sure of his opinions.
We were shown a chair that apparently KJU sat in when he opened the bar in 2014. It was distinguished only by having antimacassars on it, and I doubted he would have fit comfortably in it, but of course I believe them!

SS and I stuck to bottled Paulaner beers, Lourens drank his warm beer that he had snaffeld at lunchtime, and the others launched into blue cocktails and icecream (in the case of Mr Kang). Mr Kang showed us photos of his 3 month old daughter – SO cute, a real little chubber in traditional costumes. Nick got on the piano and started belting out familiar tunes (he was a little out of practise, but could play by ear so it was fun).

Then after paying one by one in the coffee shop on the way out,

we were left waiting in the foyer next to a lovely photo of KJU cooking chicken somewhere. We were not allowed to take photos, and two very severe looking ladies appeared and stood conspicuously next to us whilst we waited for the group to ensure we didn’t deviate from this. Oh well. Out the door, and this was quite exciting as we were allowed to walk along the road - OUTSIDE! Like normal tourists. At night!

We also got to walk in a road underpass at one point - pretty soulless but VERY clean, and no homeless people asleep. It felt as safe as everywhere else in the DPRK.

Back into the bus and back to the hotel for 11:30pm. I did our packing as we had another early start wakeup call for 5:10am.

SindyinDPRK

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

6. Final morning and back to Beijing...

5. Bowing, barraging, burrowing and disbelieving